The Inside Matters More

          Last class, our discussion about tattooed women and how the mother-daughter relationship can be affected, made me consider my relationship with my own mother. Although it may not seem like it all the time, I love my mother, even if she wears something that is 10 years too young for her, or does something to intentionally embarrass me. The bond between a mother and a daughter is internal, and for that reason I believe that this relationship should not be affected by something as external as a tattoo. However, there are outside forces that seek to distribute this relationship. Differences of opinion about religion and gender can cause a rift between a mother and daughter. There are some religions, largely Catholicism and Judaism, that believe tattoos are satanic or will stop you from going to heaven. I believe these disagreements are largely created by generational gaps. My mother’s mother would surely roll over in her grave if my mother were to get tattooed. Even her eldest sister (who is 20 years older) would surely disapprove also. In regards to gender, people of older generations are used to a more black and white culture, in the way that women are very feminine and men masculine. With this in mind many older women object to tattoos because they find them manly, and thus not meant for their daughters. However, times are changing and when I asked my mom a few months ago what would she do if I got a tattoo she answered, “it’s your body”.

Nonetheless, the mother-daughter relationship goes both ways. Although it is uncommon that a daughter tells her mother what is acceptable to do to her body, it is possible. In the film Covered when asked about their mothers’ tattoos many of the children interviewed replied that they liked them, or would keep them if given the chance to take them off. This, in combination with the mother in the film who stopped talking to family members who didn’t approve of her daughter’s body art, represent a true mother-daughter bond. It should be internal. The ink on your skin or the metal on your face should not affect how someone, especially someone as close as your mother/daughter, loves about you. I feel like this post was more of a rant about a mother should always love her daughter, and a daughter should always love her daughter, but in a class centered on the external I think it is important to reflect on how the internal is impacted.